my honest thoughts about the 96th academy awards
talk about movies or study for my physics test? you already know the answer.
hollywood’s biggest night is here, and it was a night as glorious and messy as the industry itself. with all installments in the “my honest thoughts” franchise, we’ll recap the good, the bad, and the ugly (haha get it), but for a bit of an oscars twist, let’s also add in my thoughts about the winners!
the good
messi from anatomy of a fall!! who’s a good boy?
the opening montage. jesus christ i love movies.
there’s been a trend this award season to thank the guys behind the screen, publicists, PAs, and everyone who works to make movies happen. i think it’s beautiful.
the rolex ad that featured the watch in film?? ohh they ate with that i fear.
the streaker bit was great, but who was kimmel talking to?
the performances
i feel like every time billie eilish sings “what was i made for?” it always kills.
the osage singers with “wahzhazhe (song for my people)” sound amazing over tv, i can’t imagine how powerful it’d be live. and cutting to lily gladstone afterwards? well yes!
ryan gosling don’t serve cunt challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)
the godzilla minus one gang wearing cool ass godzilla shoes and bringing godzilla statues with them to accept the award.
john mulaney presenting was for ME, actually. he needs to host everything.
the bad
this is more a personal gripe, really, so idk if it should go here, but i resent the idea that animated films are “just for kids.”
the event didn’t feel “clean,” if that makes sense. playing goofy music towards the end of the past lives best picture package? the announcer stutters? come on, you guys had rehearsals.
playing the godzilla: minus one group off as they were accepting an award and speaking a language they’re not even fluent in is NOT the move.
the okay
the opening monologue was…alright? rough at times (“is that an acceptance speech in your pocket or do you just have a very rectangular penis”), decent at times (“yorgos is as good as mine”). like all monologues.
the fashion. the women served cunt and the guys were also there.
hearing ramy youssef’s actual voice after hearing a whole movie of him in a british accent was JARRING. where is max mccandles. bring him back.
i always think it’s SO FUNNY when they do the “past winners present the award” bit and they lift the screens to show the guys just there. avengers-style. hey, you want a tip to cut down the broadcast time? maybe nix the speeches to each nominee.
the winners
supporting actress: i leaped. i jumped. i teared up.
animated short: once i saw that that was nominated, i knew it was probably gonna win. i haven’t seen any of these. but good for them?
animated film: it was really a toss-up between the boy and the heron and spiderman: across the spiderverse, but yeah, the boy and the heron deserves it.
original screenplay: these little clips where they have the script’s title page and also overlay the script onto the scene?? gorgeous. not surprised anatomy of a fall won.
adapted screenplay: WOAHHH. when i thought one of barbenheimer would win, here comes american fiction sweeps like an underdog for the oscar!! i think this is a sign to watch this movie now.
makeup/hair: once i saw poor things and saw what they did to my man willem dafoe, it makes sense that it got nominated.
production design: poor things sweep? okay, i see you.
costume design: POOR THINGS OVER BARBIE????? im not denying that poor things had great costuming, but OVER BARBIE??????????? REALLY??????
international film: yeah, zone of interest seems about right. does the UK really count as international, though?
supporting actor: yeah we knew rdj was gonna win. he ate his acceptance speech, as per usual.
visual effects: they could’ve stopped after they put godzilla in the package. they were gonna win from the start.
editing: YEAH OPPENHEIMER!! mad respect to the editor: the movie’s cuts were amazing.
documentary short: that little kid looks so beautiful. cinderella vibes.
documentary: no real thoughts (i didn’t see these) but i liked the acceptance speech.
cinematography: not surprised. i love that they play “can you hear the music” when they go up to accept the award. better than last year when they kept blasting that all quiet on the western front foghorn.
live action short: awesome, but where were wes anderson’s nominations for asteroid city?
sound: respect to the zone of interest.
score: i knew you had it in you since community, ludwig goransson.
original song: we knew this. this was so obvious. this was a lock.
lead actor: I LOVE IRELAND 🇨🇮🇨🇮🇨🇮
director: he ate. he slayed. “the incredible cillian murphy” i know what you are.
lead actress: LILY GLADSTONE WAS ROBBED. but i love you emma <3
picture: that was possibly the LEAST climactic announcement ever 😭
play me off…
you know what? i’m not even mad that some of my predictions were wrong. so many of my picks were toss-ups between so many good movies. what a year for film 2023 has been. hopefully 2024 is one too.
thank you, and goodnight.